i just burnt my mouth. on cinnamon candies. i ate too many in a row (about 3, i think.) and the result of this was me frantically trying to “air out” my mouth by panting and wiggling my tongue. it was cute.
cinnamon makes me cough.
i havent heard from either of my perspective employers yet. the dollar store said they would call by monday regardless of whether or not they hire me. the cafe guy didnt really say much… and i got the feeling he may not call. but i am keeping my fingers crossed tightly anyhow.
i have been on my computer for the good part of the day working on the script and verses for the Good Friday service. it is coming up so soon, march 21, and i am just about to the point of freaking out. im excited, but there is just never enough time, it seems. somehow, it falls into a very hectic time of year (like any times arent hectic, right?) and we have to smoosh all the practices together at the last minute.
rach is on her way home from greeley and i think her and i are going to hang out while we wait for lara to be finished at her dance, so that we can go take full advantage of freds empty house. =)
i was asked a strange question today. it was: when i decide to have sex, what kind of sexual person would i be? i dont know the answer to this. i, frankly, am terrified of sex. this is because of things that have happened in my past.
i dont see myself ever fully being able to enjoy making love to a partner, just as one of those wives who does it to keep her husband happy. i hope this is not the case, but it is a very good possibility. this is why i am staying abstinent until marriage. sure, part of it is my religion, my respect for myself and my husband, and the desire to save that precious gift only for the man im going to spend the rest of my life with, but the largest part is because of whatever happened to me as a little girl.
i have blocked out most details of these events, but there is enough there to know the gist. and i am more than okay with not knowing details. MORE THAN OKAY.
the question was asked in a joking, friendly manner, and not meant to offend me or ignite painful thoughts or memories, but it did.
i have to get in the shower before rach gets here.
have a beautiful night.
Filed under: diary, life, personal, thoughts | Tagged: candy, cinnamon, sex
